The Big Kahuna is my favorite movie about selling.  Starring Kevin Spacey, Danny DeVito and Peter Facinelli, the story takes place the last night of a trade show, when two industrial lubricants sales-veterans and their young protégé host a reception in a hotel hospitality suite.  Released in 1999, the movie made little splash at the box-office, but its musings about life’s meaning, through the eyes of characters who sell for a living, resonate for me still.

For me, the movie’s most poignant scene is Phil’s (DeVito) concluding monologue to Bob (Facinelli) about “character.”  Phil, a seen it all pitch-man, tells Bob, a devoutly idealistic researcher, that Bob lacks character because he doesn’t regret anything yet.  It’s not that Bob hasn’t done things to regret, Phil informs Bob, he just doesn’t recognize them yet:   ”When you see the folly in something you’ve done.  And you wish you had to do over.  But you know you can’t because it’s too late.  So you pick that thing up and carry it with you…then you will attain character…”

Here are some of my professional regrets:

• The Flip: As an account executive, I once failed to discuss and secure approval for how a client wanted his large island booth to face inside the convention hall.  At show-site I worked with the crew to have the exhibit completely set-up before the client arrived.  When he walked in, the client informed me instead of pointing toward the hall-entry, he wanted the structure oriented toward the back of the hall and the main aisle – where he believed most of the show traffic would flow.  Flustered, we hurriedly disassembled the booth and started over.  Thereafter, all my clients signed off on their booth’s orientation before installation commenced.

• The Flank: After making some expensive commitments on behalf of my employer, then coming through in what I thought was a big way for my client, he directed a plum piece of business I felt I’d earned to another supplier.  After blowing off steam to my boss about it, I didn’t stop her from calling my client’s superior to discuss the decision.  The account survived, but my relationship with the client, who rightfully felt betrayed, didn’t.

• The Toady: After months of secret preparation and ground-laying, about a dozen employees walked out on my employer to go start their own business.  Trapped in a pseudo-interim-manager position and ignorant about the defector’s unique line-of-business, I was charged with internal-employee and external-client damage control.  As my employer’s senior executives received Dear John letters from departing clients, they reacted angrily.  And while never unprofessional, they directed me to treat the erstwhile customers exactingly.  In hindsight, the strategy was imprudent, and did more to damage business and employee-morale than if we’d helped the clients leave on friendly terms.

• The Empty: During set-up, show floors are crowded and chaotic.  Large exhibits usually arrive in numerous wooden shipping crates.  As hours tick down to show open, show-organizers and general contractors apply pressure on exhibitors and suppliers to clear the work space – including removal of exhibit crates.   Crates labeled “empty” for removal quickly get carted to a storage-yard until show-end.  Sadly, more than once I’ve allowed a crate with still-needed items to be hauled to the “boneyard”, triggering the walk of shame outside to shimmy through hundreds of indistinguishable wooden cases to find one crate, containing the missing item.

• The Kick:  While overseeing the installation of an extensive fiber optic telecommunication-network in a client’s exhibit, I watched in horror as a general contractor’s floor manager drove his cart through the booth and over the lines, crushing the glass optics.  I had the right to be angry, but I delivered a contemptuous ass-chewing, punctuated by booting a half-full gallon of water about 30 yards.  Though it’s been over 10 years, I could still kick myself for not staying cool and communicating like an adult.

Despite these regrets, I still hope my comedic-drama ends happily.

Share and Enjoy